Hamlet may have contemplated life and death in his famous phrase, “To be or not to be,” but dementia caregivers often find themselves pondering choices that, at times, seem just as severe: To bring their loved one into their home or to look for someplace else for them to receive care? In my new book,…
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I am continually amazed by the number of people who truly believe they can tell a dementia caregiver what they “ought” to be doing—even if they have never had so much as a minute of responsibility in providing that kind of care. I consider the account I heard from a woman (we’ll call her Jane)…
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My daughter is part of Gen-Z; she’s turning 21 this year, and like others in her age bracket she’s focusing attention on her career path, as well as making social media posts and having fun with her bestie. She’s very intelligent, and she makes me laugh—a lot—and I am so proud of the young lady…
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“Privy to our deepest thoughts, that kitchen table was a silent listener as Grandma and I had talked late into the night while indulging together in some form of chocolate.” Excerpt from Goodnight, Sweet: A Caregiver’s Long Goodbye, Chapter 7 “Going Home” Grandma and I, we talked. A lot. Sitting at her kitchen table, on…
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By our very nature, we humans are storytellers. The sharing of information in the form of a story is so deeply ingrained as to be part of our very fabric. In Volume 3 of her fantastic educational series The Mystery of History, Linda Lacour Hobar quotes one of the west African griots—men who memorized their…
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“Look at me!” These words get your attention, don’t they? An imperative phrase, this expression makes you look up to see who’s speaking. Something about that sentence just stops you in your tracks and makes you do just that: look directly at the speaker. These were the words that could strike terror in your heart…
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More than any other aspect of elder care, the area of financial preparation seems to be one of the most difficult to grasp. One reason is because the laws which govern Medicare and Medicaid vary from state to state; they are also subject to frequent change. Often a family’s “ideal” care solution may not be…
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“’I’m sorry she’s not being cooperative,’ I said…’All I can tell you is that she has Alzheimer’s and she just doesn’t understand what’s going on.’ ‘Oh,’ the nurse responded in a puzzled tone, ‘she has Alzheimer’s?’ Her question left me absolutely speechless. This nurse, who had been assigned to take care of my grandmother for…
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Those who’ve experienced it might be inclined to call it an emotional bloodletting. It’s agonizing, excruciating, and it’s vastly different to go through it than if you just imagine it or observe its effect on someone else. Of course I refer to the devastating emotion of grief, and your inevitable encounter with it may leave…
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True confession: It’s been quite some time since I had direct dealings with an Alzheimer’s patient. Unlike the late ‘90s when I was very hands-on in providing care for my grandparents, both of whom suffered from dementia, my role today puts me in a more educational position, supporting the caregivers rather than the dementia patients…
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